Friday, March 9, 2012

Lawyer jokes!


Here are a few of my favorite clean attorney and lawyer jokes. It's usually short one-liners (or rather two-liners :-). I might add another ones later as well, this is just a beginning.

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
  • How many can you afford?
  • Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.


What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
 

Lawyers family law



Georgia Divorce Lawyers, Child Support And Family Law

BELLI, WEIL, GROZBEAN & DAVIS, LLP offers a variety of legal services combining years of experience in many areas of the law. The Atlanta office is engaged in the fields of Family Law which includes divorce, custody disputes, child support, premarital agreements, paternity and other matrimonial issues; Medical Malpractice; Personal and Catastrophic Injuries; Criminal matters including misdemeanors and felonies; residential and commercial Real Estate Closings, foreclosures, lease and contract preparation and negotiation; Corporate and Probate matters other civil litigation and transactional matters.
Our staff of paralegals, law clerks, investigators and administrative personnel assist in all aspects of the firms practice including client correspondence, document preparation, legal research and file management. The stability of our firm and the low turnover of staff and lawyers has fostered many loyal clients and long standing relationships. All members of the firm are available to serve our clients in an attentive and personal manner. Our lawyers emphasize a strong working relationship with our clients.
A Tradition of Excellence in Legal Services
Family law in Georgia, divorce separation, child custody, alimonyGeorgia Family Law / Divorce Law:
Our Georgia divorce lawyers understand Georgia's Family laws on the issues of custody, child support, domestic violence, alimony, property distribution and pension rights.
Georgia Personal Injury: Whether you have a serious personal injury Georgia personal injury lawyers can maximize your recovery and to help you to get fully compensated for your injuries.Georgia Medical Malpractice: Georgia's medical malpractice lawyers have years of experience in analyzing and prosecuting cases where someone has been harmed by careless doctors and hospitals causing permanent injuries
Corporate law in GeorgiaBusiness and Corporate Law:
Our Corporate lawyers help corporations through the maze of legal complexities. We consult with some of the nations top tax lawyers and accountants for your benefit.
Mediation in GeorgiaMediation:
Our Mediation lawyers can assist you in obtaining an independent third-party professionals to work with each side, fairly and impartially to help you resolve your legal disputes.
Estate Planning and Real EstateReal EstateLawyers:
Our real estate lawyers have substantial experience in residential and commercial closings and related litigation, including title disputes, construction disputes and foreclosures.
* CONSULTATION AVAILABLE (770)993-3300.Note: Telephone Conversation / consultation does not create an attorney client privilege and is only meant to provide general information. If you intend to create an attorney client relationship and privileges you must set an office appointment.**Affiliate offices are separately owned and operated law firms. No other inference of connection is implied or represented. Law firm does not assume any responsibility or liability express or implied as to any other affiliate office.”
A Georgia law firm serving the state of Georgia, Washington D.C. and clients across the nation. Georgia lawyers are also licensed in the District of Columbia, Florida and Montana. We work with lawyers around the country to provide the very best representation.

Lawyer



Case of the Week: IP



Football Association Premier League (FAPL) Ltd & Ors v QC Leisure (a trading name) on behalf of David Richardson & Ors; EWHC 108 (Ch); Chancery Division. Kitchin LJ.
www.westlaw.co.uk


The transmission of football matches via television screens and speakers to customers in public houses had infringed copyrights because they had communicated them to the public via electronic transmission within the meaning of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 s.20, which effectively transposed Directive 2001/29.
Read more >>



Judgment call 5th March 2012

5 March 2012

The court should order an interim payment if satisfied that the conditions in CPR r.25.7(1)(c) were fulfilled unless there was a specific reason not to do so.
Commercial & Chancery

At a time when litigation is booming, this week’s Special Report looks at three different areas of the Commercial and Chancery divisions. Rhodri Thompson QC shines a spotlight on the crossover between the Chancery division and the competition courts, while Catherine Newman QC explains why the massive JSC Bank case is worth following. The report concludes with Jonathan Harris’s analysis of the future of EU harmonisation on commercial law.



LAW FIRM FEATURES



Chinese firms have matured, but are they ready for marriage?

20 February 2012

Chinese legal profession’s progress not in question, but the extent of it remains subject to debate



Firms welcome clarification of fixed-share status by CoA

6 February 2012 | By Katy Dowell

Court of Appeal upholds tribunals’ rulings that fixed-share partners cannot claim employee rights

COMMERCIAL AND CHANCERY FEATURES



Blurring the line

5 March 2012 | By Joanne Harris

The division between commercial and Chancery work is becoming less distinct, as the bar pitches itself internationally and targets direct access work in a bid to ride the evolutionary wave



Invested interest

20 February 2012

First LawVest got investment from DLA Piper. Now it’s aiming for cradle-to-grave legal services - and it’s got 12 silks to sign up



Firms welcome clarification of fixed-share status by CoA

6 February 2012 | By Katy Dowell

Court of Appeal upholds tribunals’ rulings that fixed-share partners cannot claim employee rights
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LATEST LAW FIRM NEWS

Herbert Smith and McGuireWoods on standby for Lloyds shareholder dispute

9-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton

A shareholder group hope to appoint McGuireWoods dispute resolution partner Hardeep Nahal in their multibillion-pound lawsuit against a group of banking directors.


Quinn Emanuel eyes expansion across Germany and Asia

9-Mar-2012 | By Lucy Burton

Ashurst sets sights on Netherlands launch

9-Mar-2012 | By Joshua Freedman

Travers looks to expand US ties as current buddies grow in City

9-Mar-2012 | By Joshua Freedman

Taylor Wessing admits Singapore alliance firm to network

9-Mar-2012 | By Yun Kriegler

Stephenson Harwood sets date for LLP move as ex-chief quits for Cleary

9-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton, Joshua Freedman

Dewey & LeBoeuf posts 3 per cent turnover rise for 2011

8-Mar-2012 | By Lucy Burton

Asia deals round-up: M&A activity in the financial and natural resources sectors

8-Mar-2012 | By Yun Kriegler

Paris Bar reveals higher number of women than men in the law

8-Mar-2012 | By Joanne Harris

Dundas & Wilson chief steps down mid-way through term

8-Mar-2012 | By Margaret Taylor
RSS feed for Latest Bar News
LATEST BAR NEWS

Herbert Smith and McGuireWoods on standby for Lloyds shareholder dispute

9-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton

A shareholder group hope to appoint McGuireWoods dispute resolution partner Hardeep Nahal in their multibillion-pound lawsuit against a group of banking directors.


Government's court interpreting agency hit with wasted costs orders

9-Mar-2012 | By Ruth Green

Clydes and 3VB act as Liverpool FC's former owners take further action against RBS

8-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton

Post mortem finds no foul play in death of high-profile Scottish silk

7-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton

One Crown Office Row silk defeats set-mate on GMC misconduct case

7-Mar-2012 | By Katy Dowell

Outer Temple silk leads on £1m insider trading case

7-Mar-2012 | By Sam Chadderton
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LAW FIRM PROFILE



Campbell Johnston Clark

12 December 2011 | By Dale McEwan

Boutique shipping law outfit Campbell Johnston Clark recently celebrated its one-year anniversary following its launch in autumn 2010.


Keystone Law

Sherrards

Lewis Baach
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FEATURES



Stuck in the middle

5 March 2012 | By Margaret Taylor

The big firms are getting aggressive, the small firms are consolidating. Where does that leave the mid-market?



The bear and the bar

27 February 2012 | By Katy Dowell

Representing a Russian oligarch is a high-pressure gig - but the fees a top QC can charge are even higher­



Invested interest

20 February 2012

First LawVest got investment from DLA Piper. Now it’s aiming for cradle-to-grave legal services - and it’s got 12 silks to sign up



It’s the brand, stupid

13 February 2012 | By Catrin Griffiths, Matt Byrne

Nigel Knowles took DLA Piper from a Northern upstart to a global player. Can Tony Angel push the firm to the next level?



Nowhere to hide

6 February 2012 | By James Swift

Is open-plan working really the future for lawyers? Meet the evangelists


Stocks and ’mares

It’s all academic

Focus: A Farr fetched alliance

Sugar-coated bills

Focus: Barclays' harvest

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